Image: Looncup Kickstarter
In today's OMG THIS IS FOR SURE A JOKE news: Looncup, the world's first smart menstrual cup. Yeah. That just happened. If you'd like to be a part of next-gen menstrual awareness, you can help fund Looncup, because KICKSTARTER.
Obviously.
But what does it do? That's what I said, too. The Looncup will tell you when your period will start: YOUR PERIOD WILL START TODAY. And it will actually notify you, even via your Apple watch! But make sure you have your phone/watch on silent. The DING DING of your period starting will be super-distracting in meetings. Oh, but there's more: your Looncup will also give you a full reporting of both volume AND color of menstrual blood.
SPOILER ALERT: It's red.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
Hold on, did a man invent this? A man for sure invented this.
So problematic. SO MUCH.
1. LOONcup? LOON. LOONEY. I already know that I'm borderline certifiable when I'm on my period. Thanks for pointing it out, though! That's helpful!
2. Do I really need an app to tell me I'm on my period? No. I know when I'm on my period because A. I just ate half a package of Oreos and a full bag of dill pickle Lay's...oh AND B. there is actual blood coming out of my body.
3. It has a battery IN IT so A. you can't boil it (HELLO. DISINFECTION? I def don't want to stick something in my vagina that's been lulling around in my makeup case for 23 days.) and B. when your battery runs out you will not know when you are on your period and you will probably BLEED EVERYWHERE. Embarrassing. Also C. any battery going inside my vagina is going to be part of a vibrator, thank you very much.
OMG YOU GUYS, if you pledge $500 you can be a Looncup DISTRIBUTOR. They will send you 20 (!) Looncups with free shipping. If you only have $10, you're screwed. No LooneyCup for you, only a form-letter email of thanks. But EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS, FOLKS.
PERIOD KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
